Monday, 13 March 2017

Lambs for the Slaughter? OR That BBCan5 Cast, Eh?

Well, we were just introduced to our Big Brother Canada season 5 cast. So now what?
Well, now the fun starts. All that analyzing. Reading the bios. Watching the interviews. Running scenarios through our heads.

Here's my two cents: a breakdown of the cast, including Pros & Cons and my Five-🚀 ranking for each. (Those are rocket ships, by the way. Or do I have to explain it to you.)

The 2nd Chancers AKA The Vets:

Trust me, I'm trying to forget all the bad connotations about having a mixed cast. It's very hard to not believe they have an unfair advantage. They do. Of course, they do. They know the game. They know what Production and the fans want. They know each other. They know what will and will not work because each of them failed to see their demise coming.

Bruno's season 3 experience taught him to never feel too comfortable inside the house. He says the "mystery" (i.e. the unknown of appearing on the show) is gone and he is going to go in with a day-to-day attitude and not over-think situations.

-Likeable & Friendly
-Very strategic
-Comp strength
-There are bigger targets
-Has a temper.
-Tends to ignore the girls

I think we're looking at a more level-headed, new and improved Bruno here, folks. If Bruno can get past the "Bro-mancing" and get to know the females in the house from Day 1 and not just as an afterthought, he can go very far. There are far bigger targets in the house which can give Bruno time to settle in for the long haul. Overall, I think his chances are excellent. This time, as they say in show biz, "Break a leg" Bruno - not your thumb.
Ranking: 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀

She's baaack, Betches! Okay, I'll admit it. I am a Cass-ette. I love her to death and she was my absolute S3 fav - even over Tim & Nikki. She made the season bearable. Cass's biggest fear is to have other returnees enter the house. She says she is still the villain and the master manipulator.

-Can talk herself out of situations
-Can float in the middle
-Fan favourite
-Can come off as disingenuous
-Irritating to some

Like Neda, Cass has a reputation to live up to. Like Bruno, there are bigger targets like Neda, Gary or Dillon. So if she can lay low for a bit, she should do well. Do I see her winning? Probably not. But we'll sure as hell be entertained along the way, ain't that right, Betches? And in the world of gif-able HGs, Cass will go from Nikki's protege to our season 5 star.
Ranking: 🚀🚀🚀

Dallas says his problem was a misplaced trust in an alliance that he made way too early. And he still has trust issues. This time around, he wants to take his time in forming any alliances. He wants to get to know people first - not just walking in and saying "Hey, I like your looks. Want to form an alliance?"

-Very trustful
-Can read a situation
-Not what you would call a master-strategist or manipulator
-Can be a little too loyal to his alliance

Last year, everyone jumped on the Dallas train pre-season, only to jump off after the first week. I was one of those people. I'm pretty sure he was in my top 5. Dallas went through some pretty hard times post-season. He lost his girlfriend, his job, everything. But he's pulled himself back up and many are claiming he is a changed man. The New & Improved model with all the kinks worked out. I truly hope so. If he can stay off the radar and convince the Newbies he is no threat, he can do well. But like Cass, I just don't see him winning.
Ranking: 🚀🚀🚀

Oh, Gary. What can I say?
Post-Topaz fiasco, he says not winning was okay with him. He achieved his goal by experiencing his "moment" in the BBCan house, a spokesperson for not just the gay community but for all those who felt ignored or bullied in their teens. He now calls himself "Gary Extraordinary" but did he lose the glitter?

-Physical strength
-Big target
-Domineering personality

Gary is someone you either love or hate. His biggest challenge is he will be seen as a fan-favourite especially by the Newbies who know he will get votes if/when Canada has a say. They also know he is a big star in the eyes of Production and will undoubtedly be given preferential treatment. They also know Gary is "in the know", having co-hosted the Side Show. For all these reasons, I can see him going early. Possibly even pre-jury or before any twist sends him back in. I know I would target him early. Sorry, Gary.
Ranking: 🚀🚀

Ika, Ika, Ika. We all know why you shredded the letters and we ALL agreed with you. Time for everyone to move on. Her ET Canada interview with Roz Weston showed a very calm, relaxed Ika, but we also know she's anything but mellow on Twitter. She's just as salty as ever.

-Knows strategy
-Can read people
-Can hold a grudge very well

If Ika can cut the salt from her diet, she may stand a chance. After all, she is a very likeable, loyal person. But I'm pretty sure she won't be able to. Everyone - including the Newbies, know how to push her buttons. Without even trying. And that's totally disregarding any pre-show grudges. She may be kept around as a shield or a weapon to unleash, because she will be a target.
Ranking: 🚀🚀

Kevin went into the S3 house KNOWING a showmance was a major No-No strategy-wise. But then he got distracted by Pilar. He earned my love with the now infamous "bathroom incident" and concocting the girl's alliance rumour to save his ass.

-Social skills
-Quick thinker
-Less of a target than Neda or Gary
-Known liar/deflector/bullshit artist

If Kevin ends up in another showmance, with say, I don't know...Emily maybe, then he may stand a chance. He'll also need to lay low and just let people like Sindy or Ika do themselves in. And there are other people around who he damn well knows are a far bigger target.
Ranking: 🚀🚀🚀🚀

Neda knows damn well she has achieved Super-Player level in the eyes of a lot fans. (Sorry people, I am not one of them. But this is not the time or place to debate this). She also knows this 2nd chance will be an uphill battle trying to live up to those high expectations and she is understandably nervous.

-Strategy as new art form
-Social skills
-Fan Favourite
-Everything. Period.
-Lacks physical comp strength
-Known Fan Fav

According to Jon (who still remains her friend), she's been prepping like crazy and will do everything she can to keep herself safe. You'd be a fool to believe otherwise. BUT make no mistake...Production may have a Golden POV with Neda's name on it, just waiting for her to pull it out of her butt. (and wouldn't that be ironic) IF she makes it to mid-game there may be no stopping her. And god damn it, if that were to happen she'll be kicking a certain BB Doctor off that friggin throne of his. Period.
Ranking: 🚀🚀🚀(+🚀Just in case of golden veto and/or meatshield)

That's Sindy. With an S. But we already knew that. Sindy believes she has grown a lot since her appearance two years ago. Her main take away was coming to the realization that watching the show and actually playing it are two different things. Her downfall was playing too fast and too quick. Like Gary, this will be her third "chance" at the game.

-Knows strategy very well
-Can lie and manipulate with the best of them.
-A comp beast, especially in endurance
-too anxious to get into the game & making moves
-came off as annoyingly perky: the whole name thing
-Not a fan-fav of Canada

If she would just chill out a bit, Sindy's BB game could rival - or better, the best. She has the instincts of Neda and the manipulation of Cass all in one small, very strong package. Make no mistake. She WAS the one who single-handedly flipped the house to evict her kinda-showmance Jordan, instead of Godfrey. Don't count her out. I think while everyone is painting big fat targets on Neda & Gary's backs, little, wee Sindy with an S is going to slip right in there.
Ranking: 🚀🚀🚀🚀

The 1st Timers AKA The Newbies

Of course, we don't know very much about the new kids. That's just the way it is. Everything below is based on my first impressions. I'm trying not to be too judgmental, knowing that Robyn Kass MUST have seen some glimmer of hope in these folks. It's just very hard, ya know what I'm sayin'? At this point, they just seem like lambs ready for the slaughter. So fluffy and new. Can we keep one, Big Brother? Pleeeze? We'll keep good care of them, we promise.


-According to his brother, Demetres is a big fan. He's watched all BBCan as well as most BBUS and BBUK versions.
-May be over-confident

Demetres strikes me as being someone who's in it for the experience. The whole experience, including a showmance. I also see him as the number one contender for Douche Canoe this season. And I won't even mention some stuff I've seen on Twitter.
Ranking: 🚀🚀 (And I may be generous)

-Physical strength
-Lovable Teddy-Bear type
-Strength & stature seen as threat
-He wants to win every challenge

Dillon is a weapon in the making, just waiting for both vets and newbs to take advantage of him. Size DOES matter in the house, and he could easily become someone's Grade-A meat-shield. I can see Dillon outlasting others of this stereotype. Maybe if he can play down his endurance or intelligence. I hope so. I'm kinda pulling for the big guy.


-Friendly & fun-loving
-Self-described fan
-Can't deal with confrontations
-Can be a bit blunt, which she says people can take her the wrong way

Dre doesn't seem to be getting a lot of love from some of the fans who think she'll be an early boot. Maybe. But I see a very fun-loving fan that I want to give a chance and see what she's got. That is, if she doesn't start idolizing the vets.
Ranking: 🚀🚀


- says she's competitive, loves games
-self-described "people skills"
--not a physical threat
-not a math person

All I am seeing here is someone who will fly under the radar, kept only because she isn't a threat and provides some fun along the way.
Ranking: 🚀🚀

-Not showmance material
-Seems personable, likeable
-Recent fan
-No fauxmance/showmance also means no meat-shield.

Although Jackie claims to be a fan, she only started watching last year, then went back to watch seasons 1 to 3. Sure, she could be a quick study, but there's a lot to be gained by watching the feeds and getting "the complete fan experience" in-the-moment. Having said that, she seems level-headed and could do better than the rest of the Newbs.
Ranking: 🚀🚀🚀


-Perhaps calmer & level-headed
-Not a physical threat
-Age. There, I said it.

Okay people, I must tell you that I am not a young person myself. I know that Big Brother is a young person's game. There is simply no other way to put it. And yet, I must admit that I like Karen's attitude. She sees her situation the same as I would if I were in her shoes. She's not going to try to relate to the younger ones. There is no point. Nor is she going to try to be their Mom. That would just be the biggest mistake ever. Karen seems like a different kind of BB stereotype "older woman." We've had the crazy-sexy type with Risha, and the Forever 21-er Christine. Sure, she wants to get that first HoH - a move that is usually regarded as crazy. BUT she only wants it so it will give her a chance to get to know everybody. The problem is, there is no way in hell she will win it.
Ranking: 🚀


-should do well in physical comps
-seen as a physical threat
-high probability of a showmance

Mark just seems like the kid who wants to have fun on TV, then be able to brag about his experiences to friends or girls he meets. Sorry, I don't see much here unless he is taken under the wing of a Vet to use as a meat-shield.
Ranking: 🚀🚀+ 1/2 for good measure


-Describes himself as cutthroat
-Not a physical threat
-Short tempered
-Seems annoying in interviews

Sadly, I have very little to say about William. Probably because he didn't offer us much in his bio or interviews. Unless he totally surprises us - and it's happened before, I don't see William lasting long.
Ranking: 🚀

Okay. Now for the fun part. Here are my Top Four:
To be clear, I keep flip-flopping between Neda and Sindy. Yes... Sindy. Yes, I REALLY DO. The only thing holding me from backing Sindy instead of Neda is that Neda would beat Sindy if it ever came down to a fan vote. I'm serious.
And it's written in the stars... my choice for the first evictee is between these two:

Note: All art is my own manipulated work of Corus/Global original images.

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