Tuesday, 27 August 2013

The Amazing Race Canada RECAP of Episode 7 'We Don't Have Time to Go to the Bathroom'

The teams leave Quebec City and head to Iqaluit, Nunavut. Here are their starting times:

Jet and Dave 3:05 a.m.
Holly and Brett 3:38 a.m.
Jody and Cory 3:38 a.m.
Vanessa and Celina 3:44 a.m.
Tim and Tim 4:15 a.m.

As they leave, Jody and Cory say their goal is to get ahead of Holly and Brett and hopefully never see them again. What a giveaway! We pretty much know where this episode is going. Of course, when the start times are so early in the morning, you just know that everyone is going to catch up with the leaders. When the Tims show up at the airport, Jet and Dave explain how they can't get rid of the Tims..."They're like zombies".

They have to catch connecting flights through Montreal and then Ottawa. They arrive at the airport in Iqaluit and I immediately realize that the airport here makes the one we have in Windsor look like something out of Casablanca - you know, with Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman? We'll always have Paris? No? Nothing? Well, what I mean to say is it looks like hell. Shame, shame on Windsor.  Don't expect Amazing Race Canada to come here anytime soon.

The Route Marker is a clue in Inuktitut. They have to ask people to translate. It simply says 'Sylvia Grinnell Park'. Everyone catches taxis. The first cabbie that the Tims hail needs to go to the bathroom first, but Tim Sr. says "We don't have time to go to the bathroom". Well now the title isn't so funny. Would have been much better if Celina said this to Vanessa while they were miles from nowhere with no Timmies in sight. The docs are the last to catch a cab. At the park, the next clue tells them to search for the Throat Singers. Monty tells us that Throat Singing is a custom developed by the Inuit women...when the men are away. Somewhere right now, someone is probably writing some obvious snappy one-liners about that one. Maybe something like, "so that's what they call it". But I am going to take the high road on that and leave it be. There are two women out in the snow, facing each other and doing this throat singing. Kind of a surreal moment out there on the snow. It was very cool. They give the teams the next clue which directs them to a Detour.

The Detour is a choice between 'Harpoon Hunter' or 'Igloo Builder'. Harpoon Hunter consists of one team member pulling a sled with their teammate inside, 1 km to a target where they must each throw a harpoon. Then the other team member has to pull the sled back. Igloo Builder is pretty self explanatory. They have to cut out ice blocks and build an igloo. Neither task is easy. Jody & Corey, Vanessa & Celina and the Tims choose the sled/harpoon. Lots of complaining from Celina but you can't fault her for this. Even Cory was having a hard time pulling Jody. Jet & Dave and the docs decide to give the igloo building a try. Of course the igloo building sounded easier. Jet and Dave figure out that they chose the wrong task and switch to the sled and harpoon - but this puts them behind. And the docs? Well, Holly wants to switch after one of the blocks falls on her. This is where the whining starts and doesn't end until the end of the leg. Brett is one stubborn ass though. He wants to finish the damn igloo. He says, "if it's the end of us, it's the end of us" I am thinking, "finally". More whining from Holly and more "Hol, Hol, Hol" from Brett. Then he caves in to Holly's wishes and they go to do the sled and harpoon. But their fate is pretty much sealed by this point. Thank God. One thing is for sure though, the judge on that igloo challenge must have had a good laugh over these guys trying to build an igloo. If their lives depended on it, they would either freeze to death or hope for a light saber and a spare Tauntaun or two.

The next clue tells them to take snowmobiles out onto Frobisher Bay and go to the Hudson's Bay Trading Post. There is an icy walk down onto the Bay. Vanessa and Celina come across some skeletal remains...a couple of spinal columns here, a couple there. They wonder what kind of creature did this. Well, I am pretty sure those were the remains of a Tauntaun, so it was either Han or a Wampa that did that. You guys better get the hell out of there. The Roadblock is a food challenge. One team member must eat 10 small pieces of maktaaq (or muktuk) - the frozen outer layer of skin and blubber from a whale. Very, very oily. But at least they have water to wash it down. Probably not a good idea in the long run. I would really like to know how many of them got killer cases of heartburn afterwards. Jody, Celina, Tim Sr, Jet and Brett took this one for their teams. Blubber is supposed to be rich in vitamen D, and give you a lot of energy. I think they are going to need it. Everyone managed to get it down. Celina took a long time and almost tossed it a couple of times. Her gag reflex was getting the better of her.

Before the Roadblock, the Tims had to complete a very easy Speed Bump. It was taking a dog sled and retrieving a food packet. This simply came down to being a time penalty as no skill was involved whatsoever. They didn't even have to drive the dogs themselves. But it looked like a hell of a lot of fun.

On to the Pitstop. They must walk 1 km northwest through the snow to find Jon and the Inuit greeter on top of a rocky hill outlook. It was not an easy hike - most of it was on an slope. Here's how they finished:

Jody and Cory in first place. They led from the start. There was no competition...they barely saw the other teams. They win 2 tickets to the Caribbean. Bet that sounded incredible out there in the middle of the frozen wilderness.
Tim and Tim in second place. WHAT? Even Monty is astounded. If there was no Speed Bump, would they have won the leg? Maybe. If not, they would have given Jody and Cory a damn good run for the money. Tim Sr. says he left half of himself back on the climb, it was that difficult.
Jet and Dave in third. Lesson learned. I still don't know why they went for the igloo building over the sled and harpoon. They overtake the girls on the climb to the Pitstop.
Vanessa and Celina in fourth. Celina carried her sister the whole episode. She ate the maktaaq. And even after all that she had to encourage Vanessa all the way to the Pitstop, stopping every once and a while to wait for her to catch up. Celina said it best herself - Vanessa is only 21 and should have made that climb easily. How bad was it? Well, Jet and Dave easily passed them from at least a half km back. Celina, my best advice is to make Vanessa eat the blubber next time. I think she needs the energy boost.
Holly and Brett in fifth...and out. Thank God. Merci beaucoup. They studied the Amazing Race 'rulebook', practiced various challenges, but in the end it was their strategy that did them in. Picking what they perceived as mental challenges over physical challenges just didn't work. They underestimated their physical abilities and learned nothing from their previous experiences in Calgary or Regina. Truth be told, I think they knew they were finished back in Quebec City. They just gave up in Iqaluit. Bye bye Mr. and Mrs. Bones. See you at the finish line when the winning team does their traditional run-by. I will miss writing stuff like, "Damn it, I'm a doctor, not an igloo builder".

Check out my homepage on Friday for a preview of Episode 8 in Lunenburg, Nova Scotia. Lobsters, scarecrows and the Bluenose II. Another U-Turn. Oh, no. And what's this crap about Dave getting mad at Jet? Say it ain't so guys.

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