Saturday, 1 October 2016

The One With All the Red Flags and Damage Control

Photo Courtesy: Corus/W Network

As Jasmine's Journey continues in Jamaica...
  • Jasmine has learned to let herself go, to open herself up to everybody. She says every decision she makes brings her one step closer to finding her man.
  • Kyle wants to solidify the connection he is now feeling with Jasmine
  • David wants a date so the other guys will stop calling him "Dateless Dave." [So we're pretty sure he will get one.]
  • Chris will be extremely shocked if he doesn't get a date. [So we're pretty sure he won't get one.]

Noah arrives to tell the guys some of them will be taking additional steps in their relationship with Jasmine this week - then drops the first date card. Kyle jumps up to read it... "Who's got all the right moves?" [Why are some of these date cards like Amazing Race Roadblock clues? I keep expecting someone to jump up and say, "I'll do it."] It's a Group Date for Mike, Drew, Thomas, Benoit, JP and Scott. Drew puts a few digs in, carrying on about not wanting another group date then teases Dateless Dave, wanting to know if he wants to go on the group date instead.

Photo Courtesy: Corus/W Network
This is a dance Roadblock, I mean, date. Jasmine introduces the guys to The Shady Squad, who tell them about Dancehall. It's all about confidence and swagger and the interaction between men and women. So, it's like a... dance. They show the guys some basic moves and tell them they must come up with their own "signature moves." I shudder to think of all these awkward, sweating Canadians, dancing under that hot Jamaican sun. While everyone else practises, Drew tells us his dating moves includes agreeing to "literally everything she says" then pulls Jasmine aside to show us how he does it. Poor, shy Scott is first up just as the locals show up, staring at these guys as they walk by. I don't know if they were more alarmed by the dancing or the wardrobe choices. And no Mike, no one thinks you're a Boy Band. UGH. This is embarrassing. Oh, I get it now. This date is about showing Jasmine how confident they are. Not confidence from the dance moves. No. Confidence in wearing these clothes? YEP. Mike tells us his move is called The Hungry Man because it involves "eating a banana in a rhythmic way." He immediately regrets saying that. But I CAN'T get that picture out of my head. Thomas (very expertly) whips his hair out of his man-bun, prompting Jasmine to wonder if he was a male stripper in a past life. JP is actually pretty good. Benoit's twerking would have been good, but Jasmine noticing his butt-sweat kind of killed his move. Drew is pretty confident of his confidence.

Jasmine brings all the guys to The Rabbit Hole, a speakeasy where her password is "Roses are red." Not really much to say about the after party,  except that it's very Drew-centric. JP's upper lip sweats as he tells the guys how Drew is a pick up artist. Scott thinks he put himself out there for Jasmine and he deserves the rose. Then there's Mike. It's really the longest convo they've had since telling each other of their shared histories on night one. They both go in for a kiss, but it turns out being a peck on the lips. WHAT IS HAPPENING??? Did the moment pass? I don't know. But Mike later tells us, "I did kiss her and I liked it. I think she liked it too." Drew tries connecting with Jasmine, telling her about a failed engagement nine months earlier. It's a pretty ho-hum conversation, like when you're forced to talk to a long lost acquaintance at a school reunion. I'm just not seeing anything happening between th... bamn, Jasmine gives him the rose! Whaaat? No, no, no, no, no. Jasmine, Toronto-Drew is not for you. What are you doing? The sad, dejected faces on Mike and Thomas say it all.

And of course, Drew struts his victory the next morning. Opening up a bottle of champagne. No one else celebrated.

Chris finds and reads the second Date Card, "Let's ride the highs...and lows together." This is a 1-on-1 date and it goes to Kevin W. Meanwhile, Kyle takes note that "Dateless Dave rides again" - his record is now O for 5. Poor David. Come on Jasmine. Haven't you punished the guy enough?

Jasmine and Kevin W take a helicopter ride and it doesn't take long for Kevin to clue into the fact that most helicopter rides involve a kiss. That was the "high" part referred to on the date card. The "low" is a trip into the Green Grotto caves. Just one problem. Kevin doesn't like bats. Endearing? Meh. It might be if it were snakes, but Kevin is no Indiana Jones. The two have fun spelunking, especially when they happen to find wine on a table for two. Kevin tells her he's a serial-first-dater, having been on 100 first dates. This sends up a huge red flag for Jasmine who says she has to be careful and not get carried away by all the lust. Kevin realizes his mistake and tries some damage control. He takes an abrupt turn in the conversation, telling her about his brother being attacked and receiving 3 stab wounds. Of course, Jasmine gives him the date rose, followed by more kissing. Kevin then confesses he's only been on 50 first dates.
Jasmine demonstrates her camouflage powers. Photo Courtesy: Corus/W Network 

The last date card is opened and read by Andrew: "The School of Love is in session." It's another Group Date. The guys are sweating it out, knowing not everyone will get a date this week and wondering if Dateless Dave will remain dateless. Andrew reads the names: Mikhel, Kyle, myself - Andrew, Kevin P, and.... David. Yes, Dateless Dave is dateless no more. That leaves Chris as the odd man out - he's the new Dateless Dave. Drew chimes in with "It's too bad he's going home." Chris tells us he's used to being passed over by girls for some other guy.

The date is an art lesson with kids at Mar-Jam School in Ocho Rios. Kyle looks like an actual giant sitting in the kiddie chair. The school's art teacher, Mr. Graham tells them the guy who creates the best artwork will get a date with Jasmine. I wonder why my Fine Arts teacher never looked as fine as Mr. Graham. Enter chaos theory in the form of a group of kids. And glue and sparkles. It's the standard date to see if the guys can get along with kids and/or make a good father. Andrew is quick to point out that Kyle is sweating, but those sweat stains are actually from spilled water from the paints. Or so Kyle later explained on Twitter. Jasmine really wants to find out if David is there to find love, or just there to further his music career. I think the jury is still out on that one. Jasmine picks Kevin P for the extra date. The other guys seem honestly disappointed, especially Mikhel. I get the feeling he knows he has to step up his game.

Because it's raining, the extra date with Kevin P turns out to be just a sit down. Time for conversation. He tells her he's been on the road for the last four years, traveling. He's met a lot of people, developed good friendships. But this has only resulted in him getting use to saying "goodbye." Jasmine has concerns. Kevin then tells her his niece once asked him if he was leaving again because he was afraid to love. Jasmine is sympathetic, but this convo is sending up a few red flags for her. She asks him if he wants children. He says there was once a time he didn't want to get married or have children, but he has started to look at things differently. Jasmine gives him a rose but they don't kiss. Not even a peck on the cheek. What's up with that?

Meanwhile back at the hotel, Chris is nervous. He knows he has to do some damage control of his own and his only opportunity to talk to her will be at the cocktail party before this week's Rose Ceremony. Drew sees another chance to get to him. He suggests Chris should ask Jasmine what her five-year plan is, then turns to Kevin W and says "She hates that." Kevin laughs.

Time's up.

The cocktail party has begun. No sooner does Jasmine give a toast to the past week in Jamaica, Mikhel pulls Jasmine away for some alone time. They don't even get to the sitting area when Mikhel pulls Jasmine in for a kiss. Woh! I guess Kevin P getting that date rose really was an awakening for Mikhel. Now, that's what I call damage control. I'm liking this new, confident Mikhel. And what's more important, so does Jasmine. A lot. They sit down and he gives her a seashell necklace he made.

It seems to dawn on the other guys that time's a wastin' and they need to talk to Jasmine too. The revolving door starts turning. As Chris goes off to talk to Jasmine, we see Drew telling us he's hated Chris since day 1. When Chris returns seemingly happy, Drew says he'll be effing freaked if Chris gets a rose tonight. JP and Mike take their turns. Kevin W - who already has a rose, interrupts poor Scott. When Scott tells the guys about this. Kyle remarks how these cocktail parties are turning into dogfights. Kyle doesn't let it go. He congratulates the three guys who have roses, then points out Kevin W using up the others' time with Jasmine. Kevin gets riled. He explains he had unfinished business with Jasmine, and besides, he's "A MAN!" (UGH, yes he said that) Drew adds in his two cents: these guys need to grow some balls.

Noah enters to tell Jasmine it's time for the Rose Ceremony. Drew and the two Kevins have roses, which means there are only eight more to give out. They go to: Andrew; Mike; Kyle; Mikhel; Chris; Thomas; and David. Noah returns to do the last rose warning thing. It goes to Benoit. Jasmine says goodbye to JP and Scott (Who?).

Next Week:

  • Jasmine and the eleven remaining guys go to Montreal. Jasmine has a very romantic date at Cirque du Soleil. 
  • Chris complains about an incident with Drew (it looks like Drew tackles Chris) during a football group date. This leads to a classic "Bachelor" moment when Chris warns Jasmine about Drew. Will she admonish Chris with the standard advice he should just worry about himself and not the others? Will she cut Chris because of it? 
  • Jasmine interrupts the Rose Ceremony to talk to Drew. Will this be the week Jasmine cuts Drew? 
  • There are only 8 roses next week - Jasmine will have to cut 3 more guys. So, I have to wonder if there is a dreaded 2-on-1 this week they haven't told us about.
  • Guest panelists for next week's After Show are Debra DiGiovanni, Jessica Mulroney, and... Chad Johnson. Is that a weird match-up or what? Obviously, Chad is there to pass on his insights about Drew. Hmmn.

My Thoughts:
Mikhel: Last week, I said Mikhel shot into my #1 contender spot with a bullet. This week, I'm still all-in. In most of this week's episode, Mikhel seemed "iffy." Jasmine gave the Group Date Rose to Kevin P, not Mikhel. He looked almost defeated and it seemed for a second that things cooled off a bit between him and Jasmine. Then that kiss happened. It turned everything around. In fact, at this point I'm willing to put him in Jasmine's F2. As for her F1? MAYBE, but let's see what happens next week.
Kevin P: He likes her. She likes him. But she now knows he may have some commitment issues. She gave him the Group Date Rose, yet there was no kiss - that we saw. And by now, if TPTB wanted us to cheer for Kevin P, they would have shown one.
Kevin W: I know a lot of people really like this guy and his chances, so don't hate me when I say I don't care for him. Of course, he could be a really nice guy in real life, but we can only go by the edit he's getting. And folks, it's not been a great edit. Jasmine clearly likes him, but his "serial first-dater" description of himself was a warning sign for Jasmine. He's also seen chumming around a lot with Drew, laughing at Drew's antics. But the main signals are still the clips in the season preview of Kevin going into creepster mode and confronting Jasmine in what looks like a moment of jealousy. If Kevin W is Jasmine's F1, his edit would NOT have included these scenes.
Thomas: Thomas went from a steamy 1-on-1 date in episode 2 to near invisibility in episode 3. His only big moment this episode was his Dancehall move, to which Jasmine said he could have been a stripper in a past life. No, it seems to me his chances aren't good. He's clearly getting the "lust-not-love" edit.
Mike: I like Mike. Who doesn't? He and Jasmine clearly have a connection because of their shared history and the fact they are from the same region of the country. BUT when Mike went in for what looked like was going to be a big, passionate kiss...<GROAN>... Jasmine denied it by giving him a quick peck on the lips. Not good. At this point, I'd label it Friend-Zone. Ugh.
Kyle: It would be very hard to dislike this guy. Friendly giant. Loves cats. Great with kids. We heard Kyle say at the beginning of the episode he wants to solidify the connection he's feeling towards Jasmine. What connection? Have TPTB withheld a few scenes from us? Is Kyle the dark horse? No, sadly, I really don't think so.
Benoit: If there's anyone who's a dark horse, it could be Benoit. We know he and Jasmine have some "moments" coming up. But let's see what happens first...we could have been handed some foilers in the season preview edit.
Chris: Nope. No way.
David: Nothing to see here. Moving along...
Andrew: Don't even. he REALLY that much of a villain as far as Bachelor-Nation villains go? Not really, no. The most you can say is that he's a jerk. Maybe an asshole. Okay, he's a douche canoe. And even though he doesn't quite rank as a full-blown villain, he's getting that edit and I'm going to go along with what we were given this season.

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