Thursday, 1 November 2012

The Bachelor Canada Recap of Week 5: The Hometown Dates

So Brad starts the episode off with the standard review of each of the girls. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, Brad, they're all nice girls, you have fun with each of them, you can see yourself with all four, and you're sure you're going to be spending the rest of you're life with one of them.
It's the standard intro by the lead for the hometown date episode. As well as next week's intro to the overnight fantasy suite date, and even the final rose finale episode. Get on with it.

First up, Brad goes to Mississauga to spend some quality time with Bianka Kamber and her family. She brings him to her fave ice cream parlour, tells him he'll never guess what her fave flavour is, and asks what his is. " chocolate chip?" "Oh my god Brad, me too!" Gee Brad, it's almost as if she is your density. I mean destiny! Then they go off to a spontaneous picnic in a park, where the blanket and all the trappings have spontaneously materialized. Brad starts in with the questions. Brad asks her where she thinks this (their relationship) is going. Bianka doesn't answer the question. She just says, "I love where this is going!" Wow, great deflection Bianka. You must be great on job interviews. She tells him that she has only ever brought one other guy home to meet her parents...because she has trust issues. In Bachelorland, this is a red flag. A huge red flag. Remember that for the final rose ceremony. She says jokingly, or perhaps seriously, that she wants him to get rid of the other three girls. Sounds a bit Fatal Attraction-ly there Brad. What the hell is she going to say when he offers her and two other girls the overnight date cards? (I mean, individually of course, not all together). Then, on the way to her parents' home, we hear Brad in a voice over say that his relationship with Bianka is very "organic". Seems genetically modified to me. But cheer up Brad. Bianka
has another surprise for you. Her family speaks very little English. Oh joy. I really have to say that our boy looked scared as he was introduced to the family. Everybody was speaking Italian or Spanish or something. I have to admit that by now I was watching the clock because the Season Finale of Face Off was about to come on, and I was planning on doing some fancy channel flipping. Ahh, but it was just a joke...the family spoke English just fine. Fun times. Apart from that, the Kambers seemed like pretty normal people. Except that Mr. and Mrs. Kamber only dated a month before they married. I don't know if that was meant to be reassuring to Brad and his "journey", OR if that was a little wee reminder to Bianka that her last boyfriend, Kris Humphries knew Kim Kardashian for about 5 minutes before they got married. 

Next, Brad heads back to Vancouver to meet up with Kara Henderson, who is impatiently waiting at the marina. She pops a Dentyne Ice. Is she considerate, or a bit of a germaphobe? Or is Dentyne Ice a sponsor? She tells Brad he will be meeting her mom and sister, but her dad is working in Saskatchewan. They go for a little walk through the Granville Island Market and buy strawberries. She points out a boat on English Bay called Royal Vancouver 1, and says it's her uncle's. They go for a little tour around the bay and Granville Island, then it's off to the house. Kara is sad because her dad isn't there. Then wouldn't you know it, Dad sneaks up behind Kara and says, "Guess who?" This makes Kara all weepy-eyed, and she says "You didn't quit your job to be here, did you?" All in all, it looks like the Hendersons are a normal family, and everyone is having a good time. Where's the drama? Where are the awkward dysfunctional family moments? So I flipped the channel over to Face Off, but its just a review of the season. I tune back to hear Kara say that she is 100% sure she is in love with Brad. Holy crap, what did I miss? Despite this, I actually think that Kara is the most natural of the four girls when they interact with Brad.

Now it's Gabrielle Dipersico's turn to impress Brad with her large circle of family and friends. But first, it's time for coffee. Now, tell me something. How many times have we seen Brad and one of the girls going to a coffee shop? And you know what else? Not one of them was a Tim Horton's. I guess Tim's opted out of sponsorship for the Bachelor Canada and this was the producer's way of punishing them. Take that, Timmies!!! Or this was their way of letting the international community know that not all coffee cups in Canada have a rim that you can roll. Plus, they were just walking and they couldn't use the drive-thru. Anyways, she brings him to see her "friends". You get the impression that these "friends" aren't exactly the normal circle of friends. Sure enough, they go to a Seniors' Centre, where Gabby apparently volunteers twice a week. Now, I don't know this girl, but she doesn't exactly strike me as the kind of girl who volunteers anywhere. I hope I am wrong. But when Brad asks the folks what they think of Gabby, the responses are something like, "Yeah, she's nice". And then, talk of stereotypes!!! They're playing Bingo....while offering the youngens some relationship advice. Pretty much a waste of time, because we know that Gabby doesn't make it to the final 2...and probably won't be around for next week.

Time to check out what's happening on Face off. There's a preview for Season 4 beginning in January, and it's looking awesome. If you've never seen this show, it's a "reality" series where the contestants create movie character makeup and prosthetics. Cool. It's on  the Syfy Channel in the States, or Space here in Canada. I switch back to see Brad with Gabrielle's family. It's a large family. And they really do look like a lot of fun. Gabby's cousin, a guy named Paris, seems quite taken with Brad. Paris tells Brad that if he chooses Gabby, then Brad also gets him.It's two for the price of one. Paris gets his own private camera time. He says Brad is a hot catch. He's like "diamonds". Ah, okay. Then the family gets Brad to do a little bit of belly-dancing...well, pseudo-belly-dancing anyway.

Finally, it's time to see the date we've been waiting for...Whitney Lee in Calgary. This one had the most screen time in the previews. And it looked like a train wreck. Especially with Papa Lee. But first, Brad has to have a little chat with her about her lack of emotion. Whitney explains by mumbling something. Totally incoherence. When they hug, she does one of those kiss-avoidance manouevers. You know what I mean? It was like she was forced to hug an old homeless man. Anyway, off they go on their date. Whitney drives Brad's rental. Did you happen to notice she is the only one of the four girls to do that? I can picture that conversation. Whitney: "I'm driving!!!" Brad: "Yes Dear". Whitney tells Brad, "You'll never forget this day, I can tell you that". Now imagine that sentence spoken in the most emotionless tone you could possibly imagine. Like a judge delivering a death sentence to a defendant. Yeah, like that...sends a chill up your spine. They are driving towards the Calgary 1988 Winter Olympic site, and Whitney tells Brad, "You see those ski-jumps over there? My dad helped to build those." Same droll tone. Isn't she a happy one? Definitely sounds like she would rather be at the dentist. They don't go ski-jumping, much to Brad's delight. Instead they go down the Olympic bobsled run. But in a wheeled toboggan...Pretty cool! Gotta say that this looked like the best hometown date of the four. Well, what I mean to say is, the best activity of this episode. 

Gotta say that this trip of Brad's to Calgary was up and down like a bi-polar expedition. If you know what I mean. Yeah I really am suggesting that. Look, editing can only be used as an excuse just so far. But these shots of Whitney had to come from somewhere and that somewhere isn't a pretty place to be. She was either depressed or bored to tears. And to make matters worse, Papa Lee was portrayed as the stern father. When they first went into the Lee home, I could have sworn that was Dick Cheney standing there. Brad really walked into the WASP nest, too. Holy frack. Brad, get out of there now! Run! We meet mom Melinda and her twin sister Camille. Not quite an identical twin sister either. Plus she has this ginormous mole on her upper lip that looked like it had a life of its own. Maybe it has conversations with Whitney's forehead vein. 

At the dinner table Papa Lee talks to Brad and Whitney. The atmosphere is extremely awkward. Whitney is sitting there like she's in a trance. Or a coma. Or maybe she's just texting under the table. He tells Brad that Whitney has never looked happier. What? What? WHAT? This is happy? What does sad look like? Brad looks at Papa Lee, then looks at Whitney, then back at Daddy Dearest. Then he looks at Whitney's forehead vein. Unfortunately the camera angle wouldn't let us see it because it was probably about to pop. Ho-ly Frack. It suddenly dawns on Brad that something is really not right here. Thank God your brain started to work again you finally noticed Whitney's little game. But I am going to have to watch this part again. Just to get the full grasp on everything that was said and what went down. Brad says, " Do I really know who this person is? Maybe she's trying to pull the wool over my eyes." 

At the Rose ceremony, Brad pulls Whitney outside for a little chat, and somehow she manages to convince him that she's there for the right reason. Don't know how she managed that one. Everyone who believes that...stand on your head now. Back inside they go. Brad enters first and at first the 3 other girls didn't see Whitney. They must have thought that Brad gave her the heave ho. Just as they were about to break into song with "Ding Dong The Wicked Witch is Dead", alas...Whitney comes back in and takes her place back up on the podium. Brad gives the first rose to Kara. Good choice. The second rose goes to Bianka. Meh. Then the long, contemplative pause. Tick, tock, tick, tock. Come on. Then Brad says "Whit"....I switch back to Face Off to hear the winner announced. At least that was a good decision. So, why did our boy Brad choose Whitney and not Gabby? He's thinking a-head (nudge, nudge) to next week's fantasy overnight dates, of course. He'll dump her after that for sure, right? Besides, if he chose Gabrielle, her cousin Paris might just tag along.

Back next Wednesday morning for a preview on what to expect in Episode 6.     

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please feel free to discuss this.