Wednesday, 22 October 2014

Recap of The Bachelor Canada 2 Episode 6: What the Hell is Going on Here?

So....about last night.You're probably asking yourself, "Just what the hell is going on here?" Well I will tell you. It's got more to do with production-driven drama and less with Tim's journey to find love. Oh and a touch of sponsor product placement. That's what the hell is going on. 

Tim and the five remaining girls travel to Tuscany, Italy. To be specific, Casa Buitoni in the village of Sansepolcro. I have to say it took me a few minutes - until the first Buitoni commercial in fact, to make the connection. Sometimes I can be dense that way. Or more than likely, my care factor at this point is next to zero. Anyway, the group enters the Casa and head straight to the patio where they find a beautiful spread of - you guessed it, pizzas. Yum. Casa Buitoni is not a hotel. It's Buitoni's R & D facility. So I am not sure how that worked out. I imagine the group stayed in rooms usually assigned for visiting chefs and company executives. But the bottom line here tells me this entire season was dependent on cheap production costs. And it is starting to show. According to Kaylynn, Casa Buitoni is where all the Master Chefs come to create food frozen pizzas. I wonder if Gordon Ramsay knows about this place.

The first date card arrives. It reads, "Let's make the night sparkle." Trish gets this one. It's another cheapo date. They just walk around the village and end up at an outdoor patio. The best I can say is that Tim and Trish actually do have fun and seemingly get along. There may be something here. Trish notices that there are a lot of couples with puppies. Tim says they will get a puppy together. Then he gives her a diamond necklace and earring set, compliments of Michael Hill Jewelers. They go to the town square and dance to accordion music. Magical? Not really, but it's the best I have seen this whole season. Trish says she is falling in love and Tim says it was phenomenal.

The second date card reads, "A picture perfect date awaits." It's a 3-on-1 date for April, Kaylynn and Lisa. Kaylynn is upset because this means she isn't getting a 1-on-1 date this week. Lisa bitches that the others are the epitome of why she hates females. Before the date, we find out that the girls went to a bar the night before and Lisa made out with the server. What? I am finding this pretty odd. Mainly because the cast is usually sequestered...they aren't allowed to go off on their own little field trips. They are supposed to remain locked away from any contact from the outside world so their attention is focused on the bachelor and conveniently drive each other crazy. So I am calling bullshit on this. Oh it probably happened alright. But I am sure the producers were fully aware of what may happen when at least two of these girls - Lisa and Kaylynn, have too much to drink. The reveal of this incident was ridiculous. First there is awkward silence among the five girls for an unnecessary amount of time. Then April finally spills the beans. Trish and Sachelle say that if Lisa doesn't tell Tim, then one of them will. Because Tim is such a good guy and all and blah, blah, blah. After all, Timbits doesn't deserve Lisa Bitch. He never gets involved with more than one girl at once.

Kaylynn, April and Lisa meet Tim for the 3-on-1 date. The girls must compete for some extra
Once again, Tim fails to live up to expectations.
time with him by painting Timbits, who is wearing only some sort of wrap thing. It's certainly not a towel. Maybe some spare art canvas that's been hanging around. Because this is Italy. Land of pizza and art. Well, let me just say that if that were the case, Tim should have been buck naked wearing only a strategically placed rose. Not that the girls were great artists, mind you. After the girls are finished with their finger paintings, Tim chooses Lisa's brown mono-chromatic representation of him. Beats me as to what standards he used for judging this crap. They have an awkward alone time and at the end, Lisa sits Tim down to tell him that the server grabbed her and kissed her. We see something that approaches tears from Lisa in her ITM. But who really knows. Whatever it was, Tim falls for it.

The third date card is for Sachelle. "Together we'll create a slice of heaven." Great. Just
Was it pizza or love that's responsible for that vom face?
great. More pizza. There must be more to do in Italy than eat pizza. And they don't even leave the Casa. It's right there in the test kitchen. No wonder the Ancient Romans enjoyed watching gladiators kill each other. Lucky bastards. At least they got out once in a while. Tim and Sachelle are given Buitoni chef hats and Buitoni aprons by the Buitoni "Top Chef". The chef tells them that all the ingredients are from the garden. You know - tomatoes, mushrooms, cheese and pepperoni. That's some garden. Then he shows them the proper way to fondle, I mean knead the pizza dough. Tim and Sachelle make one pizza and put it in the oven. Strangely enough, we later see them bringing two pizzas outside to eat. How that happened is beyond me. Anyway, this was another awkward date. While they wait for the pizza to bake, they cuddle. It was the only thing they could do. But Sachelle doesn't look very thrilled. She becomes the sacrificial informant for the group and tells Tim all about Lisa. Seems Sachelle has been so upset by the incident that she has been unable to sleep. Poor child. But she gives Tim a bit more information than the story Lisa spilled. According to Sachelle, she pulled Lisa off the Italian server, but Lisa went back for a second helping. I don't know what the Italian stud muffin was serving but it must have been better than pizza. All of this information makes our man Tim terribly conflicted going into the Rose Ceremony. After all, the hometown dates are next and he shouldn't have to go into that with any lingering questions.

Tim didn't hand out any roses on any of the dates, so there are 4 roses to hand out among 5
Random pose my ass.
girls. Just one look at the way the girls are positioned in the line up tells us how this whole mess will play out. Lisa is front and centre and Kaylynn is beside her. Not to mention the fact that Lisa is wearing some sort of hippy leopard print dress while Kaylynn is wearing a pure white dress. Look at how happy these girls are. Wow. He gives out roses to Trish, Sachelle and April, then stops. He has to have a chat with Lisa to make sure she isn't a ho and she's there for the right reasons. Her apology is enough to satisfy him and he gives the last rose to her. Poor Krazy Kaylynn is cut loose.

So what exactly happened here? Why did Tim keep Lisa and send Kaylynn home? Here is my opinion:

  • Tim's two main girls are clearly Trish and April.
  • Sachelle, Lisa and Kaylynn are the expendable ones, so they are for lack of a better explanation, "free" for the producers to mess around with.
  • Sachelle has become the friend/informant. More concerned with Tim's welfare than his being a real love interest.
  • It was a production choice between Lisa and Kaylynn as to who leaves this week. Kaylynn may come off as a little crazy and needy, but she is well liked by Sachelle, Trish and April. Lisa is hated by everyone. There is more bang for the buck in keeping Lisa around for at least another week.

Don't be fooled by this constant reference to "being there for the right/wrong reasons." That phrase has been in every episode of every Bachelor or Bachelorette since the franchise began. It's become a show staple, a parody of itself. That's how you can tell the incident with Lisa - if true, was blown all out of proportion. Hell, even Tim comes off as about as sincere and believable as Juan Pablo. But don't worry. Issokay. I suspect the Lisa Bitch will be going home soon. If not this week, then the next.

And speaking of next week, it's the hometown dates. Tim will be going to: Edmonton (Trish); Calgary (Lisa); Sudbury (Sachelle); and Wasaga Beach (April) be grilled, in a carefully scripted manner by concerned family members. And the Lisa problem rears it's ugly head again, causing Tim to trust his gut feelings. Somehow, I think it`s Sachelle that is going home