Friday, 4 September 2015

Amazing Race Canada 3 Episode 9 "Take Your Clue and Goooo!" OR Nick & Matt's Delhi Market Tour '15

Humayan's Tomb*

It's off to Delhi this week. I learned one thing from this episode. There sure are a lot of markets in Delhi, and I think The Amazing Race Canada hit them all. In fact, I think a more appropriate episode title may be Delhi Market Tour '15. I wonder if Nick was disappointed he couldn't find a single sandwich.
With only five teams remaining, we are treated to extra team dialogs during their trip to the airport. Look how tight these departure times are, separated by only 29 minutes:

Dujean and Leilani 4:16 P.M. Leilani reflects on the amount of bickering they do, but they have adjusted and the dynamic is working for them. She thinks they may win this thing.  
Nick and Matt 4:23 P.M. Matt explains: They are competitive guys, so not winning a leg is really bugging them. Their plan is to take the lead at the start of the leg and hold it. The key is a "hot start." 
Brent and Sean 4:37 P.M. They give us the obligatory, "Just being here makes you glad you live in Canada" line.   
Simi and Ope 4:38 P.M. Simi says they learn new things each leg and can only improve in the future.   
Gino and Jesse 4:45 P.M. They say their bad placement in the last leg hasn't affected them because their single mother taught them to never give up. They will win this leg!

Oh no. It's the infamous single-mother-taught-us-to-never-give-up line, AND with pictures of Mom. Do TPTB really think I am going to suddenly heart these guys? Sorry, but no. Just keep throwing in a few shirtless shots for my enjoyment and I will be happy. That's why they were cast, right? As far as all-male teams go, I prefer ones more like Mickey & Pete, Jet & Dave or Kevin & Drew. And yes, that means Nick and Matt are MY darlings this year. These on-the-go narratives are pretty standard stuff for TAR and we all know how to interpret them. But, is it just me or do these ones seem a little bit too spoilery for the rest of the episode? Do we even need to watch this one? Oh, well. I'm committed to this thing, so here goes.

This might work for Gino
Our first stop in Delhi Market Tour '15 is the Ghazipur Fish Market in Delhi and a task called "Use Your Head." To earn their next clue, each team member must transfer 20 catfish from one tank across the market to another tank. The catch (pun NOT intended) to this task is they must do it traditionally, using a basket on their heads. Live fish. Stinky fish. Squirmy, floppy, slimy and very wet live catfish. Everyone comments how smelly the fish market is. The Indians who are gathered around to watch seem to find this very entertaining, laughing every time a fish flops out of a basket and a Canadian tries to grab one of the escapees. Simi and Ope get right on it and use a second basket to hold the squigglers in place. Gino is overly concerned about the fish juices dripping down on his head and washing away all his newly applied hair gel. If I threw in a joke here, it would be NSFW, so instead I will just suggest he find a better hair gel. Maybe they can stop at the Delhi Hair Market. I think it's around there somewhere. Dujean and Leilani have trouble and Leilani doesn't like the fact that catfish have teeth. Then there is Sean. There is screeching and yelling and a few, "I can't do this!" He's scared shitless. I yell at my TV, "Just shut up and frigging do it!" And I am pretty sure Brent wanted to tell him the same thing because the whole fish-phobia thing [I'm too lazy to look up the correct terminology] pushes them to last place. It's Nick and Matt who get the task done first and get their hot start.

Sean performs the Tuk-Tuk-Chuck
This fits in nicely for Nick and Matt because the Roadblock at Faily Bartha Village is called, "Who Wants a Head Start?" One person from each team must duplicate three turban styles on three "wedding guest" models. Well, if that's true then I hope the happy bride and groom are okay with their uncles showing up late. These gentlemen are going to be a while. Teams had to travel here by tuk-tuk - the covered motorized rickshaw things we've seen before in TAR. The best part of this task was the judge, Agib (spelling?) with his thumbs up or thumbs down, and a variety of other enthusiastic mannerisms. Oh and I can't forget Dujean's pun. "I'm a dancer, not a (w)rapper." Once again, this is a task that only the men do. Of course there are only 2 girls left in the cast, but they both tell us they could have done this one better than their teammates. Simi's experience is with similar head fashions in Nigeria and Leilani is a pro in wrapping her extremely long hair on top of her head. Ope doesn't read his clue correctly <sigh> and just repeats one style three times. Brent and Sean finally show up, but the stress and heat cause Sean to puke again. This time it's mobile. A puke-on-the-go, tuk-tuk chuck. The poor driver has to stop to clean it up. Nick tells us Matt has no fashion sense, and usually just wears what he calls "bar shirts." Regardless of that shocker, Matt manages to maintain first-place for the pair. Their strategy is working. But those pesky Mosquito Brothers are right on their tail. Ope shares the sweetest celebratory dance with his daughter. When Dujean finally gets the third turban, the enthusiastic Agib tells him to "Take it and gooo!"
Agib: Take it and goooo!
Teams must now travel by tuk-tuk to the next market in the tour - the M-Block Market, Greater Kailash. I have no idea what the "M" stands for. It can't be "Market" or else the name would be Market Block Market. Do they just sell Ms there and would I have to go to a different market to buy a vowel? Or perhaps the "M" label is needed to distinguish it from the "N" or "O" or "P" markets? (I just googled it, and that's not too far off) Jon describes it as "upscale", but I think that's because it has a little park in it. The clue box is in the little park and Nick and Matt find it first. They see the Mosquito Brothers and don't want to tip them off. Nick tucks the clue under his shirt. They run off to find a safe spot around the corner to read it. Hmmn. Is this the first real sneaky gameplay we've seen this season? Hey, at least they didn't hide in a doorway and point down the street, in a "they went thataway" moment. Phew. If they had, they would have been trolled for being the villains and we can't have that.

This is the Detour called "Slam It or Spice It."

Is it just me, or is Nick looking a bit Heraclean to you?
In "Spice It", teams must make their way by rickshaw to Khari Baoli Spice Market, which seems to be a subdivision of Greater Chandi Chowk town Market. I joke, of course, this market is big enough to be its own town. I just wonder, how big does a market have to be before it achieves its own cityhood? [Note to all the self-righteous, snooty, Social Anthropological types out there: Yes, I know markets are the reason for the rise of cities] Once there, they must grind chili peppers into a fine powder using a mortar and pestle - enough to yield 100g of product. I have the feeling we are going to learn why chili powder is more expensive than chili flakes at The Bulk Barn. For "Slam It", teams must learn 7 Kushti wrestling moves, then perform them with each other in order, under the direction of the wrestling coach. Excellent! We get to see all the guys in their underwear! Of course, this is a no-brainer for Nick and Matt. It's also no surprise that Gino and Jesse decide to do the wrestling. I imagine as brothers, they wrestled each other all the time. Dancing must be a skill easily transferable to wrestling because Dujean and Leilani also jump on it. Maybe the Exes just see it as therapy and can't pass on an opportunity to throw each other around. Work those unresolved issues to your advantage, Dujean and Leilani! Nick says his only concern about Gino and Jesse is to make sure it doesn't come down to a footrace. Nick and Matt perform the 7 moves in one attempt, as do Gino and Jesse shortly after. Dujean and Leilani get stuck on move number 3.

Ope & Simi's Turban Dance
Simi and Ope also give wrestling a try, but it's too much for Ope's back. Hey, at least he tried. Father and daughter decide to switch  They arrive at the spice-grinding task the same time as Brent and Sean. The grinding is NOT easy. It creates what Sean describes as "devil dust" or pepper spray. When Ope sees the larger chunks in the mortar, he tries to blow them out. Yeah, it goes everywhere, including his eyes. Oh, the crazy things teams do when they are battling it out, trying to avoid elimination. Speaking of blowing chunks, I am a little bit surprised Sean didn't puke here. Maybe I didn't see it. Both teams must take several attempts to get the ground fine enough and in the correct amount. Brent and Sean finish about 5 minutes ahead of Simi and Ope.

This one is a real race to the finish for all the teams. First there is Nick & Matt vs Gino & Jesse for first place. Then leaving the Detour, we have: Brent and Sean in 3rd; Dujean and Leilani in 4th; Simi and Ope in last place. Hold on people. This is not how they finish.

The Pitstop is at Humayan's Tomb, the inspiration for the Taj Mahal.

The Stink-Hug. A 1st place celebratory move only
attempted when the Greeter is a pretty girl.
Nick and Matt: FINALLY win a leg, narrowly fending off the Mosquito Brothers. Although we are often given false edits, this one was in fact close. If you paid attention, there was one shot of the two teams running in opposite directions at the tomb. Dirty and sweaty, the Wrestlers totally envelop Jon and the pretty lady in a stink-hug, like a big, sweaty meat-cocoon.  The poor girl. Why didn't Jon block Nick and Matt like he did with Pete and Mickey in Charlottetown with Anne? Nick and Matt win a trip to Amsterdam and a year of free gas.
Gino and Jesse take 2nd. They say their aim is to get Nick and Matt out of the race. They are now my sworn enemies. (yes, I am joking)
Simi and Ope are 3rd. How they pulled off this one is anyone's guess, but my speculation is they had a better tuk-tuk driver who took a faster route.
Dujean and Leilani are 4th, only steps behind Simi and Ope.
Brent and Sean are last, probably because their tuk-tuk driver took a bad route and got stuck in traffic. There is a lot of crying after Jon tells them they are last. But's a big clue. If Jon doesn't immediately say, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have been eliminated from the race", then they are going to be safe. You would think they would know this by now. So, I am not sure about all this crying stuff. This one is an NEL, and Brent and Sean will face a Speedbump on the next leg. Note: the save in leg 5 was a KOR, with no Speedbump.

Next week: Penticton, British Columbia and the start of the end-game. There are only 3 legs left! Just in case you might want a heads-up on this, here's my preview (yes it includes spoilers!)
Tempting, eh? Muah-Ha-Ha!

Which way do we go, which way do we go?
*"Humayun's Tomb Delhi 31-05-2005 pic2". Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Commons -