Tuesday, 19 February 2013

Recap of Episode 8 The Hometown Dates OR Families Really Suck

We all know that the hometown dates are soooo boring. But did this seem even more so, or what? ALMOST made me wish Sean kept Tierra around for another week...can you imagine meeting crazy Tierra's crazy family? Now that would have been great TV.
Instead, we get this:

Date 1: Alien Abduction
AshLee, Houston, Texas.

I looked over some of the search terms for hits on my blog. One of them was "is AshLee an alien". What? Someone actually googled that? Well, I believe the time for full disclosure has come, and I can now report that yes, AshLee is an alien. I believe she is one of those reptilians who have assumed human form. Sean has been chosen for her, and she for him. This explains so much. She says, "Before I met Sean, I had no idea what true love is" - and she's 31 years old? Too bad that marriage when she was 17 didn't produce spawn, and now she has only one more chance to successfully mate. Someone should warn Sean that these reptilians impregnate the male and after the hatchling bursts out of his abdomen, the female consumes his body. 

AshLee absolutely believes she is in love, and that Sean loves her. "Sean told me to trust him...he is the man to protect my heart". Hey when Sean gives you the heave-ho, you can call Kasey Kahl. This hometown date went through all the usual motions, but it was so boring. Boring family too. But then, what did you expect from an adopted family with a Pastor father? Starting to understand why she married at seventeen. Yikes. AshLee is setting herself up for a world of hurt next week...there is a high stalker potential here. Plus, Sean should try to account for every second...watch out for "missing time" and check for implants. Been seeing any lights in the sky, Sean?

Date 2: The Wicked Sisters.
Catherine, Seattle, Washington.

Well things started out great with Prince Sean and his date with the fairest of them all...Catherine. They frolicked in the Seattle market and played catch of the day...catching fish thrown at them by the village fish monger. But then the clock struck midnight and Sean had to get Catherine home. That's where the wicked sisters got hold of Sean and filled him with doubt. Then to make matters worse, when Sean tried to ask Catherine's Mom for her blessing, she really avoided the issue. Poor Catherine. No glass slipper for you...tonight anyways.

Date 3: Escape From Guantanamo Bay 
Lindsay, Ft. Leonard Wood, Missouri.

Well, this should be good. Sean gets to meet Lindsay's 2-star General father. Nasty. Of course he had to ask Lindsay what to call him. Mister? General? Lindsay says Mister Yenter. Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, does it? Kind of stupid if you ask me. What kind of General's daughter is she? If he really wanted to impress the guy at the introductions, it absolutely should have been "Sir". A good strong handshake and "Sir". But before the meeting, Lindsay has to prep Sean. She just happens to have some pseudo-army-type fatiques which she has Sean change into, then has him "drop and give her twenty". Hope this girl wasn't hoping to get an acting career out of this because that was the worst acting ever. Meanwhile, Sean is thinking he should have put more thought into preparing himself for meeting Mister-General-Sir Yenter, by, oh I don't know, watching Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay? But as it turns out, the General is a pretty good guy and actually gives Sean his blessings. Well, of course only if Sean marries his little girl. Otherwise...well I would add the General to your people to watch out for when this is done.

Date 4: My Brother...the Asshole
Desiree, Los Angeles, California.

The best for last, right? Des brings Sean to her place. There's a knock at the door. Des' boyfriend shows up, demanding to know where she's been. He's been worried about her. Why wouldn't her family tell him? Sean is about to deck the guy...and it's real...no acting there. Then, surprise, it's just a joke. Des' parents and brother Nathan show up. Nathan is a bit of an asshole. There's just no other way to put it. He gives Sean a real hard time - I am sure Sean was hoping it was all just another joke. He calls Sean a playboy and later he tells Des the whole thing is a joke. Obnoxious little shit with a pissy little smirk on his face.

Oh no. Sean is confused. It's the Rose Ceremony and he doesn't know who to send home. It's been a bad week. He gives roses to:

AshLee. He's too scared to let her go just yet. Maybe he can lose her in Thailand. Maybe they eat reptiles there.
Lindsay. Again, too scared to let her go in America. Best to put some distance between him and the General.

Wait, Sean can't decide who to give the third rose to. Or so we are supposed to believe. Holy drama, Batman. Of course, Chris Harrison has to have a little chat with him. Sean decides it comes down to who will he miss most? Catherine or Desiree? He comes back out. The third rose goes to:

Catherine. Because it's easier to deal with the two wicked sisters than the asshole brother.

Families suck.

Oh and by the way, ABC is airing an extra episode tonight (Tuesday) called "Sean Tells All". Sean talks to Chris Harrison about the journey so far, Crazy Tierra, Des and will show deleted scenes. Oh joy.

Next week, it's off to Thailand, where Sean sends a girl home after overnight dates, without having sex with anyone. What the hell is the matter with him?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please feel free to discuss this.