Big Brother Canada Recap of Week 5

Recap of Live Feeds (Spoilers)

Emmett wins POV

Recap of Episode 12 - Sunday, March 24, 2013: It's Like a Maze in Here!

Well isn't everything just peachy keen now that the loathsome pair of Tom and Liza are out of there? Sounds like a good excuse for a party. And look there... in the storage room, AJ....how convenient! A Big Brother drop off...wine and beer. Perhaps Big Brother thought that if Talla gets plastered again she might give Peter, AJ or Andrew another lap dance. No such luck. But they do play a game of Spin the Bottle. Okay. What person over the age of 12 plays Spin the Bottle? Just cut to the chase and play some strip poker. Wait a minute. This is looking kind of funny after all. Andrew gives Gary and AJ some big ones. Maybe he has found his inner glitter. Things get really interesting when Topaz and Talla kiss with perhaps a little extra show for the boys. AJ permanently filed that picture away for future use. He says it's all that he can see when he closes his eyes. He closes his eyes. "Ooops, there it is". Peter says it was "a mish-mash of eroticism in there".

Strategy wise, this week we see Alec and Peter plotting over who the next target should be. Apparently they have had enough of Suzette and her inappropriate comments, emotional outbursts, non-motivating life advice and persistent ass-kissing. Sounds good to me!!! Alec tells Peter, ...that Topaz said, ...that Suzette said, ...she thinks Alec and Peter are the real masterminds of the house. Phew. No shit Suzette! Now Suzette wants to put up Peter and Alec for eviction, if she ever wins HOH. So now Alec and Peter want Suzette gone because there is always the slim, 1,000,000 to 1 odds that Suzette might win an HOH challenge. And we can't have that. She's got to go. And they will put up AJ as a pawn....again. Peter says everyone deserves a second chance...but three? Canada can't save her again.

So why do I have this nagging feeling that the producers are planning some new twist and will save Suzette again? Geez. Enough already Big Brother...cut her lose. Please.

We also learn that Emmett now sees Jillian as his closest ally now that Tom has left the building. So it looks as though he has given up on Peter and Alec and the remains of the Quatro.

The HGs are all called outside where they find a plexiglass maze and look, it's a brand new car!!! Yep, its time for the new Head of Household Competition. This week they must navigate through the maze and collect the first number of the addresses of 4 of Canada's landmarks. This forms a code which they must use to get the key to open the door of the Chevy Trax, then honk the horn. Is it just me, or are these comps getting a bit confusing? Well at the very least they are long-winded. Besides becoming the new HOH, the winner gets 10,000 bucks and an "extra" reward. Hmmn. Wonder what that will be? It can't be the car...this is Canada after all. Alec and Peter don't plan on winning HOH because that just leads to jealousy and hate and makes them a target...unless it looks like Suzette might take it. Good strategy, because you never can tell. The only problem is that they have to go before Suzette gets her turn. So they have to put in a good time. Peter fails at mazes, but Alec really books it. Talla gets so confused she eventually gives up. Hey, I told you it was confusing. Then its Suzette's turn. You know what's funnier than a fat woman racing through a narrow maze? Nothing. Seems like Alec and Peter had nothing to worry about after all. Emmett and Jillian put in good times. AJ was more concerned with coming up with a one-liner. This time he used, "It's like a maze in here". Everyone laughed.

It's Alec who wins with the best time and becomes the new HOH, along with 10,000 bucks and the extra reward. They give Alec the car keys again and tell him to go see. Oh my God! Are they actually going to do it? Are they really going to give him the car? Ahhh....no it's just a video message from his Mom. Told you so. Alec gets all teary-eyed and says he misses his family. I think he was just disappointed they didn't give him the car. One thing's for sure...Alec sure doesn't look like his Mom.

Alec shows off his HOH room. Since he got a video message from his Mom, his letter is from his good friend who tells him about a bet on how long it would be before Alec started going shirtless.

Then, just as Alec and Peter predicted, it begins. Jealousy and hate reartheir ugly heads. Seems like Andrew is none-too-happy about getting the short end of last week's HOH. Alec let Andrew win, but the second HOH in a double eviction week only lasts about 20 minutes. He didn't get his own HOH room or luxury items. He didn't even get the complimentary ass-kissing from the other house guests. No. He didn't get any of it. And now...that back-stabbing Alec wins HOH. Gets the room. Gets the luxury items. Gets the ass-kissing. Even if it is just Suzette doing the kissing. Doesn't matter. And to top it all off...he gets TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS!!! What the hell is that all about? BASTARD. Why that son-of-a-bitch!

And then there's Peter who says...if it comes down to just Alec and me in the final, everybody is going to look at Alec and say, well he already won $10,000, so lets give it to Peter.

The Nominations for Eviction ceremony is no surprise at all. It's AJ and Suzette, with Suzette as the target and poor AJ getting used like, ...well like a pawn. Again. But once again I plead with you Big Brother....no more surprises, twists or special Canada-Votes-to-Save crap. Let's just let this play out and stop saving Suzette!!!


Recap of Episode 13 - Wednesday March 27, 2013


Poor Suzette. She wonders what she did to be nominated 3 times. Well, let me tell you, Suzette. Nobody wants to incessantly hear about your three kids. Nobody wants to hear about how winning Big Brother Canada will help you bring your kids on a vacation. Or when people are talking about something, you always have to turn it back to you and your problems. The more you harp on about yourself, the more the other players will want to get rid of you. I am sure Eviction Thursday didn't come quick enough. Guilt and sympathy is not a good strategy. And I still want to know in what universe are you a "Motivational Speaker"? That's what was in her bio...I just don't get that.


Alec and Peter double up in the Diary Room, and it couldn't be funnier. Alec notices the volume of Peter's voice in there and says the walls really are soundproof. Then he does an impersonation of Peter which was spot-on.


Emmett tells us again that his new final two alliance is with Jillian. As if we or the house guests couldn't tell. Seems like their relationship has taken a giant leap forward in this last week without the evil Tom around. They are just going to lay low and follow along with the majority. Emmett warns Jillian not to tell Andrew anything.


Talla gives Topaz a bikini wax and the screams reverberate throughout the house. Of course it's Gary who goes to investigate. he runs into the room and goes, "Woh!!!", then yells downstairs "Who wants to see Topaz' (BLEEP) get waxed?" Then he sits down with them and watches. And when I say watches, he was right in there, like he was dissecting a frog in high school biology. Topaz says, "If I find out Gary's really straight, there's going to be some problems". 


The POV competition is called "Cabin Fever". The players are Alec, AJ and Suzette, along with Gary, Emmett and Jillian. Peter is the host and does his best impression of a Hillbilly. They have to use a tin can attached to the top of their heads to catch cold water, run across the grass, climb a ladder and fill a Thermometer container. Or as Hillbilly Pete calls it, a Ther-Mo-Meter. Well I guess you have to envision that with a hillbilly twang. But there are holes punched in the can, and Pete warns to watch the wet grass, or it will "Git slicker than Snot on a glass doorknob". Besides playing for POV, the winner will also get a one week Slop Pass. Heehaw!!! Of course, Suzette can't get the hang of it, and she is hoping that Gary wins it for her. See, there's that attitude. Self pity is a bummer. Gary gives it a good try, but Emmett wins it. Kind of wonder if Gary threw it so that he wouldn't feel obligated to save her and make himself a target.


Ah, Marsha. This week her challenge pick is AJ. AJ is perplexed at first that the moose is talking to him. Did these people never see that moose in front of the Diary Room, and wonder about it? Have they never seen the Country Bears Jamboree at Disney World? It kind of sticks out like a sore thumb. Anyways, Marsha tasks AJ with suckering 2 house guests to help him with his obstacle course because he is going to make a workout DVD. Okay. In case you haven't seen AJ working out, well, its effort-less. Not effortless, but effort-less, as in there is no effort at all. Somehow Talla, Topaz and Andrew help him out. Maybe they suspected something was up. AJ wins a Summer BBQ Pool Party. Then Talla gets drunk.

The POV Ceremony. Emmett tells Suzette he doesn't like her gameplay which consists of using guilt trips, and chooses not to use the POV to save anyone. What a shocker. He wants Suzette gone. Suzette doesn't think she's done anything wrong or that she's been guilt trippin' anyone. Wow. Just call her Mrs. Oblivious. 

Recap of Episode 14 - Thursday March 28, 2013

The episode starts where it left off the night before. Emmett goes to talk with Mrs. Oblivious who is upstairs crying. He tries again to explain why people don't like her gameplay - translation: they just find her annoying. Holy crap, I find her annoying, and I haven't been locked in a house with her for over a month. She still doesn't get it. In the Diary Room, she has to say it yet again...."I have three children at home". I want to reach into the TV and bitch slap her. Everyone else in the house is single and they don't want to hear about this kind of crap. Several times now either Emmett or Alec have talked to her. If she would just snap out of the constant "three kids at home" sympathy talk, and actually played the game, she wouldn't be on the block. Play the game and make a deal. She knows it's Alec and Peter who are ruling the house. Keep quiet, lay low, make a deal. When Alec, Peter or whoever else sits down to "be honest" with her, they are waiting for an offer. I really don't know why she is there.

Seems like the whatever-mance between Alec and Topaz is on shaky ground. Topaz ignores the morning wake-up alarm by wearing Alec's headphones. Big Brother keeps the alarm going until all the HGs are out of bed. Standard practice. Obviously, everyone is getting pissed off. Then Big Brother punishes Topaz by taking away Alec's iPod and headphones. Oh yeah, that makes sense. Big Brother is starting to sound more like Big Momma. "If you don't get out of bed right away and get to school, I'm going to take away that iPod!". This gets The Shield + One (Alec, Peter and Emmett) riled up enough to suggest Topaz as the next eviction target. Alec is perfectly willing to put an end to the Showmance-Sham. But, Topaz talks to Gary, then runs to Alec with an apology. The showmance continues for now, which may prove to be a good thing.

Big Brother arranges a "Date Night" for the two eviction nominees, AJ and Suzette. They have to invite another couple...2 HGs who aren't involved in a showmance. They pick Talla and Peter. Everyone else must play roles in this makeshift dinner theatre. Of course the waiters are Jacques (Emmett) and Ricardo (Alec) - both shirtless except for a bow-tie. Dinner, Chippendale style. 

Then there is a pinata. And it's shaped like a treasure chest. Wouldn't that automatically tell you that there just may be something besides candy in there? Like some kind of Big Brother reward? While everyone else is gathering up the candy, Gary notices a piece of paper and picks it up. A-ha! Lo and behold, Gary has won a special Veto power. he can replace one POV player with another. So if Gary wants to win the next POV comp, he can replace anyone with Talla. Not exactly a guaranteed game-changer. Unless Topaz nominates The Shield and Gary wants the nominees to stand.

Eviction Ceremony. You know, I am going to go out on a limb here and make a crazy prediction. I think they are going to vote Suzette out. Sure enough, Suzette is out of there with a vote of 6 to 1. Bye bye Suzette. Don't go away mad, just go away. When she talks to Arisa, she brings up the fact yet again that she has 3 kids at home. Well now you can go back home and take care of them. Believe it or not, they need you.

So boring!!! Quick, we need an HOH competition. And it's another memory quiz. They have to answer if "event A" occurred before or after "event B". Easy, right? Yeah sure, it starts out easy enough, with questions that even I could answer. Then it kind of gets stupid with events so trivial that ANY answer would just be a guess. Looks like everyone but Andrew, Topaz and Talla took a dive on one question all at once. Then it was just a matter of odds, 50-50 for each question. Before or After...nobody knew. Andrew guessed wrong, so it's just Topaz and Talla. Talla? Isn't that proof right there? They prove that taking a guess is just a real crap shoot...Talla misses, of course. Topaz is the new HOH. Peter doesn't look too happy. Is it because he wanted Topaz out this week, or is he kind of afraid she might nominate him for eviction? Does The Shield have to work some big strategy here and call in some favours?