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| Big Brother Canada 2 House guests. Don't they look happy, all Photoshopped together like that? |
For those of you who are not familiar with the Big Brother process or schedule, the cast is already safely sequestered inside the house. They have been since Slice made their official announcement last week. Even though the premiere will appear live, it has all been pre-taped. That's just the way it is done. There are several reasons for this. First, production doesn't want the media to know these people in advance. Nobody can get at them now. Also, the premiere episode has a lot to cover. Last year's premiere episode covered HOH, Nominees for Eviction and the Power of Veto Competition, while the second episode was the Power of Veto Ceremony and the Live Eviction. No reason to believe they will change it. If it was live, it would just be one hour of 15 people introducing themselves to each other. Sixty minutes of these people going through all the social niceties...showing their pretend faces. So, if you tune into the 'After Dark' show, which also begins Wednesday, you will see that they all seem to know each other pretty well. That's because they have been together for a whole week.
Now for the bios and my impressions. here are the 14 House Guests identified to date. Of course there is a Mystery 15th HG. Ooooh. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Got to be a celebrity or a returning House Guest, right? Like maybe Emmett or Talla? Nope. Not a sibling of one either. Don't get your hopes up. When they introduce him on the first night, you are going to say what? Why all the secrecy? Speculation has ranged from William Shatner to a goat. The most viable guess is a local celeb from Nova Scotia, a Drag Queen named Scott Bosse. Well whoever it is, I am sure it will involve the first major twist of what the showrunners have promised to be a barn burner.
Edmonton, AB
Welder/Inventor
When asked to describe himself in 3 words, his response was "The. Peoples. Champ". I don't know about you, but I don't care for "THE-y" type of people. Also, I keep wondering who he had to fight for that title, and if there is some kind of trophy that goes along with it. Maybe a wide 6 inch belt with a big shiny buckle. Apparently, people listen to him, and he listens to people. What do they call that? Ah, wait a minute. Oh yeah, communication skills. He loves people, hates stickers and believes himself to be aggressive. He wants to go for HOH right off the bat, and is looking for a guys alliance. Wait a minute. He hates stickers? Just great. This season's sticker-hater. There's always one in the bunch.
Character Rating: Mr. Perfect
Reminds Me of: A.J.
Survival Rating: Medium
Calgary, AB
Restaurant Manager
Out-going, energetic, intense. He loves people too, except for the narrow-minded. He describes himself as a "gentle giant". Maybe he is the one that Adel had to fight for the title. He wants to be perceived as everyone's friend, completely non-threatening. I don't know about that. Those muscles spell physical threat no matter how much the guy looks like a lovable teddy bear. He says he is good at reading others, and hates close-minded people.
Character Rating: Buddy
Reminds me of: Emmett
Survival Rating: Medium
Hanmer, ON
Reiki Master
Eclectic, out-going, spiritual. I don't know where to start with this one. She hates bullies. I don't know what a Reiki Master is. Not sure I want to know, although I am sure we will be hearing all about it in the days to come. She is one of those people who claim their strategy is no strategy. She wants to leave it to destiny, and intends to meditate about it. Leave it up to the universe to tell her what to do. Sounds a bit too new-agey, hippyish to me. She also likens her life lately to a cocoon - a protective barrier around her. But she is now ready to break free and bloom into a butterfly - on the show. Wow. Can't wait to see that. That sounds more like The Invasion of the Body Snatchers to me, so the others better watch out. On top of that, she is afraid of being sucked into negative tornadoes. Most people fear shark tornadoes. All of this indicates Anick just might be first out, except for the fact that she wants to give body massages. Unless hidden in that cocoon, Anick will probably miss her BFF, Mary Jane the most.
Character Rating: Nutbag
Reminds Me of: Talla
Survival Rating: Low to Medium
Claremont, ON
Unemployed
Passionate, energetic, conniving. He says he has a magnetic personality. I will reserve judgement. He also says he is completely untrustworthy - a bold face liar. Then he says he is offended by others who lie to him, thinking he is stupid enough to fall for it. You can derive your own conclusions about this, but what I am reading is that he lies to stupid people. How is this guy not employed? He will miss his friends who are presumably either too smart to lie to or too dumb to catch his lies. He is a Big Brother superfan who wants the public to respect his gameplay. He has no long term plan. In the first couple of weeks, he is just going to make friends, then adapt to people and events. Okay, what he just described is what most people do when they start a new job.
Character Rating: Back-Stabbing Co-worker
Reminds Me of: Peter
Survival Rating: High
Barrhead, AB
Model Agency Coordinator
Fun, out-going, bubbly. Who'd have thunk? Her strategy is basically playing the dumb blonde, although she is actually really, really smart. So she says. Then she goes on to say she fears any challenges that involve math. Does something not add up here? She also does not like overly smart people who throw it in your face. She loves happy people. Aww. Definitely a Heather. Like most Heathers, she is probably easily distracted by bright, shiny objects. Oh and here's another shocker. She has aspirations of being an actress, and is hoping the show will get her started.
Character Rating:Tease
Reminds Me Of: Danielle
Survival Rating: Medium
Thornhill, ON
Hair Stylist.
The 3 words Ika chose to describe herself were: extra; witty; and charming. I don't know what the "extra" refers to. Did she mean extra-witty? Or did she hint that she might have some extra body part? She hates chores. She hates cleaning up after other people. She hates nasty people - nose-pickers and booger flickers to be exact. She hates annoying people that don't know they are annoying. She seems annoying. Maybe extra annoying. I think she just doesn't know it yet.
Character Rating: Picky
Reminds Me Of: Liza
Survival Rating: Low
Character Rating: Picky
Reminds Me Of: Liza
Survival Rating: Low
Clarenville, NL
Student
Fun, energetic and goofy. He is also messy. This is sure to annoy Ika. He will miss his dog, and he is sure that his dog will miss him. I am sure it will, every time it licks itself. Like most 23 year old students, Jon fears "brain" challenges. He intends to play a social game. Although he is not confrontational, he won't back down in situations either. What is he in it for? Why the experience, of course. It will look great on a resume.
Character Rating: Slacker
Reminds Me Of: Aneal
Survival Rating: High
Grand Falls Windsor, NL
Model
Ambitious, confident and intelligent. Just like Jon, he will miss his dog. I kind of think the dog likes Kenny because of the bacon he can hide in that beard. His strategy is to be completely non-threatening, reserved and laid back - an open book. He says he refuses to divulge his sexuality...yes he's gay. If he completely hides this, it WILL hurt his game. If he confides it to people, it will build a lot of trust, form alliances and get him far. He hates messy people. I am sensing some weird dynamic between Kenny, Ika and Jon. He admits that strangely, he gets along with older people. I vote for Kenny to be the House Guest most likely to hide a couple of bags of cheesies in his beard for when he's on slop. Just kidding. It's a lovely beard, really. Very trendy lately. I just want to say to these guys who sport these type of beards that the North won.
Character Rating:Confidant
Reminds Me Of: Alec
Survival Rating: High
Porter's Lake, NS
Personal Training/Picking-Up-Ladies-Downtown
Jacked, charming and athletic. Yes you read that right. He considers being a womanizer a profession. Fine. Whatever. He's still young and stupid enough to get away with that attitude. But here's the clincher. Shhh, don't tell anybody, but he lives in his Mom's basement. Okay. See, you can look at that two ways. On one hand, you could say "what a friggin loser". Or you could say that he must be good at his so-called job if he can convince these ladies to leave the bar and go with him to the basement. Tell me something Kyle. Do you at least have your own car? Is it your Mom's? Or do you ride your bike to the bars? He wants to win so he can get out of his Mom's basement. Great life plan. So much easier than what most people do. I can't wait for this imbecile to interact with Paul, the motivational speaker. I guess that means if he doesn't win, the only thing left to do is to learn Klingon. This guy has to be most likely to construct a BJ tent (a la Jill and Emmett).
Character Rating: Village Idiot (Steroid-Induced)
Reminds Me Of: Tom and Talla
Survival Rating: Low
Vancouver, BC
Freelance Fashion Stylist
Blunt, sassy, clumsy. Sounds like Neda is the best attempt by the producers to fill the Talla-esque spot in the cast. Her strategy is to be nice. Awww, isn't that nice. Who can't be nice to nice people? The problem is that nice people don't last long in the game. However, she hates people without manners, so maybe this combined with her self described bluntness might lead to some blow-ups.
Character Rating: Best Work Friend
Reminds Me Of: Talla
Survival Rating: High
Toronto, ON
Consultant/Motivational Speaker
Analytical, funny, creative. Hey, wasn't Suzette some sort of Consultant/Motivational Speaker? Didn't she think she was funny too? Here's the thing. More often than not, people who describe themselves as funny are usually the only ones who think so. Or they think they make people laugh, when people are only laughing AT them. His strategy is to bring his life skills to the game. Meh. Probably not the best thing to do. The young ens won't take to that too well. More must-knows about Paul is that he hates whiners and he is a biter. A nail biter that is. This is sure to bug the crap out of everyone. If he lasts that long. He's also a snorer. He's the oldest of the House Guests, and that doesn't bode well for staying power in this game. Maybe it's time to look a bit inward and direct those motivational skills in encouraging yourself to stop the biting. I know how it feels - I've been there. Just stop Paul.
Character Rating:Dad
Reminds Me Of: Suzette
Survival Rating: Low
Edmonton, AB
Student
Loud, talkative, funny. Sounds like a second Talla wannabe. Rachelle is aware that she tends to be confrontational, so her strategy is to tone it down a bit. She is also planning on being nice. Great, another one who thinks nice people get ahead in the game. The problem is that confrontational people can't keep up the "being nice" facade for very long. She has two pet peeves: girls with squeaky voices, and people who can't use proper grammar. At 20, she is the youngest of the house guests.
Character Rating: Mom's Favorite Child
Reminds Me Of: Jillian
Survival Rating: Medium
Montreal, QC
Hairdresser/ Make-up Artist
Fun, big-hearted, big-mouthed. Her strategy is to start off under the radar. She hates messy people but it sounds like she might go a bit overboard with it. Actually, she hates "dirty people". She specifically said in her bio that she doesn't like dishtowels being used for both dishes and hand-wiping. She insists on two towels...one for each purpose. Geez. I hope she labels them "Dishes" and "Hands". Well, I guess it would be okay as long as she doesn't have ones that are labelled "Dog" or "Feet". One more thing to know about Sabrina is that she wanted to be on TV ever since she came out of mother's womb. Which of course begs the question, how did she know about TV while in her mother's womb? Was there a TV in there? Was it a TV womb?
Character Rating: Mom
Reminds Me Of: Gary
Survival Rating: Low
Osgoode, ON
Mortgage Broker
Fun, out-going, kind. Her strategy is to be kind and likable. Just because she hates mean people and other bullies. She also describes herself as sneaky. Not sneaky as in evil, lying and conniving. Sneaky in a good way. She is a bit of a prankster. Likes to scare people. I presume she really enjoys hiding somewhere, then jumping out and scaring the Bejesus out of them. Personally, I love this. Could be great fun. Or it could backfire. Some people don't take too kindly to it, or she could be accused of spying on her fellow house guests. But she does look like a fun time girl, doesn't she? Yep. And her biggest fear? Pooping with a mic recording the sounds. Love it.
Character Rating: Best Friend
Reminds Me Of: Topaz
Survival Rating: Medium
Got to say, when these people were first introduced, I thought "Oh God, ...bunch of losers". But somewhere between reading the bios and my writing this preview, I think I am getting kind of anxious to see the premiere. They have all grown on me.
***all photos courtesy CNW http://www.newswire.ca/en/story/1313103/big-brother-canada-reveals-season-two-houseguests
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